Stuck & Not Sure How To Move Forward?
Feel like all you do is spin your wheels & no matter what you do, your still in the same spot?!
There are patterns in our thinking, actions & life that keeps us stuck. Or there are principles in life we are not following so we are stuck. Principles can be the grease for the forward motion
First make a list of areas where there is no forward motion. What have you tried to get motion? Does anyone else in the family have same problem?
Are you mad at God?
That’s a loaded question. If your Christian do you dare say yes out loud if you are??!! If you are mad at God, He knows already.
There is no shame or guilt to be had, if you are. Let’s look at the why are you mad at God. That is where you may want to jot the things down on paper so you can keep track.
You can talk with God about each one. You might want to think about asking for forgiveness for each thing you wrote down.
TBI can happen at any point in life by many things. This is what my family has learn since 2014. In a flash your whole life, life goals & dreams is changed. I’m not saying everything is gloom & doom. I am saying after a TBI life will be changed.
It changes not just the life of the person who received the injury but it changes the lives of every person in the family. TBI severe or mild it is lives will not be the same. Before I depress you any more, there is hope.
Life with a TBI is not easy & skips through fields of flowers. Not being able to function as you once did in a flash is a hard adjustment for a person to go through. It is also difficult to be a family member of the one who was injured. I’m not ragging on the one who was injured. Just talking about what it looks like.
The person who has received injury can no longer do everything they use to do. They may gain back some of their abilities, but it is not to the level before the injury to the brain. Now the family will do their best to help & not hinder the person with the injury on their road to “recovery”. We will not get into the battles with insurance companies or doctors. That is all to depressing & exhausting to get in to. If any who are going through it and feel they need to talk about, email me.
When your life changes in a flash, how do you pick up the pieces ( and which ones do you pick up to move forward with? Some pieces you might not want to pick.) It has helped us by going to TBI support group. You need a group that comes together to help each other overcome the bumps, rough spots & who else is having this happen problems. A group that wants to see each other move forward in their lives is a group worth going to.
Moving forward? I have used that term a bit already. Yeah, with a TBI you get the chance to do that a lot. Sometimes you can have set backs. Then you might get the fun of starting over or just take a few steps back. You get to learn how to live again. It will not look like the way before the injury.
One hard lesson is to stop comparing yourself or what your life looked like before the injury. Easier said than done. That lesson can take months if not a year or two. Each injury is different to the brain but everyone has common areas that they struggle with.
This post may have a part Two coming in the future.
Do you have any learning disabilities? Or know someone who has them?
Learn disabilities come in a large spectrum of different things. Going through school is made a little bit more interesting when you have learning disabilities. Parents/ teacher/care giver’s work to see what will help with the learning process. Lot’s of it is through trail & error. What worked for one does not work for everyone.
Having the flexibility as a parent/teacher /care giver’s are important to meet the level of care for the person with the learning disability.
We got as a gift for Christmas.
There is a story that goes with it.
We moved in to the place we are now about 6 years ago. The place already had a stove & it was clean, & we don’t need to move our stove. Our old stove was gas & this new place had electric. We did not have to make a gas stove work at the new place or get a new stove. We had no problem using what was already there.
As we get all moved in & start using the stove, we started to notice the coils would turn on, but one of the big ones did not work as well. We can make it work, no big deal. May be we were just use to gas stove. Then we used the oven. We did noticed it took long to preheat & the bake time was different & stuff did not cook evenly. Gas Oven verse electric oven could it be so different?! We of course did our best to adapt to the difference.
As the range got older & lots of use out of it. More & more cooking problems happened. Because it would take longer to preheat, food took long to cook, the electric bill was getting bigger. We were counting pennies. After the battle the range for 6 years, and the cooking & baking time were getting out of hand, we started to look at options.
At the time Dave was not working. We started to check around at different places to help get a different stove. Dave’s parents said they could gift us a new stove. The Whirlpool Range meet the needs we had. When you buy a range, washer or dryer they say you need a new cord with it. So you buy the new cord. But be careful!!!! There are different types of cords & plugs!!
Dave was very careful about this. We picked out a range, Dave looked at the cord & plug & took a picture to make sure he got the right one. We removed the old stove, get the new one in. Dave is showing the boys how to attach the new cord to the new range. Dave gets everything together. Dave reaches for the plug & goes to plug it in & the cord does not plug in. Yes!!! You read right. Now Dave shows the boys how to remove the new cord. We had to go get the right cord.
At the store, Dave looked over the cords. The cord that matched the plug at home was a dryer cord. Yes, you read that right. Yes, it makes a difference. Yes, we have a headache now. Dave now gets the right plug & the right cord. But that is after a few calls home to have the oldest check the fuse box to make sure that was right. Dave even called a friend who knows about electric.
The old range could have had all the problems it did with it from not having the right plug & cord. A dryer plug pulls less electricity than a range plug. So to cross the two is a mess. Don’t do it!!!!
We have had similar problems with stuff in the house, when we had to replace or repair stuff.
The boys will be able to learn how to change a plug & have a try at putting on a new cord to the range. With all the hassle with the stuff that was not made with the range, I thought it was going to be a nightmare to put the right stuff in. Nope, it went smoothly. With the correct plug & the correct cord the range worked!! We had proper running power to the range!!
Now to do the self clean run on the new stove to burn off anything from shipping, to set paint & whatever else the papers said. The paper did say to open all windows it was going to get hot & smelly. Before I know it, I’ll be able to make dinner!!
The stove has a stay warm setting. It’s a very nice feature to have when making a big meal. The clock is easy to set. You may wonder why not glass top? I have a few reasons. The main one was I use the camping popcorn shaker to make my popcorn. I could not want to scrap up the glass top.
Do you have any eating disorder?
Eating disorders are just not from not liking your body image. It could be from trying to control at least something in your life. When we feel that your life is out of control you can go to measures that are destroying yourself in hopes to control something.
When the chaos hits how do you deal with the stress?
Getting a support group around you that cares about you. Being open with what you are dealing with to your support group will help a lot. Looking at what triggers you when the stress & chaos starts. Eating small meals through the day instead of 3 big meals. Pick healthy choices for the small meals. Fruit, veggies, nuts & protein. Protein is a key to help you stay going. Plus getting plenty of water.
Pre-planning your meals a head of time will help. Taking the chaos & stress out the meal time helps keep you rooted in making healthier choices for yourself. Keeping a daily journal of what you are eating & when will help. Sharing the journal, your thoughts & feelings with your support group will help you move forward.
There might be a list of things that come up as you examine yourself during this time.
I do a lot of writing. I have used a lot of different types of pens in my days. I have found that the Paper Mate Profile pen’s are the best. The Paper Mate Profile pen glides across the paper with ease. The ink is not runny. The grip at the end of the pen is the perfect width so your fingers do not fatigue. I can easily write for hours with the Paper Mate Profile pens.
I’m also picky about the paper I write on. The paper has to be a good weight. Not to thin & light but not to thick & heavy. The paper needs to be smooth too. I have found Composition Book Wide Ruled Lines notebooks work for me.
Dealing with shame or guilt?
This can lock you down from moving forward in your life or relationships.
Shame & guilt can hold you in bandage & keep you from walking out what you were created to do.
Here’s a book that can help: Restoring The Foundations by Chester D. Kylstra (Author), Betsy Kylstra (Author), Bill Hamon (Foreword). Plus there is a CD called Shame/Fear/Control you will want to pick up. http://stores.rtfresources.org/
In Traverse City, MI area is a couple, John & Jessica Lemyre, that is offering their services to people. Their email is rtfministry@gthop.com. They are booked till Spring or Summer of 2017. They are a loving couple who has God’s heart for people. John & Jessica Lemyre are gentle people, who have wisdom & knowledge on how to come a long side of people who want to be free.
Been through any traumas?
Traumas can happen in different ways. And what is a trauma for you does not land the same way in another person. How do we deal with any traumas? Sometimes it is very hard to even talk about the trauma. Thinking about it is hard enough. So how do you move forward with living with a trauma? There is help. For the help to be helpful, you need to feel safe & can trust the help. That is 2 big steps.
When you have been through a trauma sounds/smells/words/places could trigger a flash back or emotions from when the trauma happened. Everything you feel during the flash back feels 100% real, like it is happening right then. How do you move forward from that point?
You can move forward with help from people who care about you. Trying to fast trauma by yourself can be overwhelming. With help from another person or people can help make an unbearable moment user to walk out from.
Stressed out?
When we have a lack of faith in what God can & will do, we feel it in stress.
” Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”
In Matthew 10:19-20 shows us the Holy Spirit helps us.
” But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”
With Luke 12:22-34 shows us other ways to resist to worry about what is in God’s control.
Luke 12:22-34 (NIV)
“Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Philippians 4:6-7 points us to turn our worries & stress into prayers.
” Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Also try reading:
Psalms 100, Psalm 18, Psalm 93
He leads me to still/quiet waters, what does that mean?
God’s peace & rest for us to have. He brings us to it & it is up to us to choose to enter in to it. Some of us are unable to enter in to it. What do we do then? It sometimes take practice making that choice over & over again.
If what I offer here is relevant to you in any way, please consider donating. As I tend to my family (disabled hubby and homeschooled kids) I write in my free time. No knitting here but I love Taco Bell now and then and your donations help keep the spicy food coming. Every donation is appreciated!!!
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Unencumbered Living